Your kid found out you’re an escort. What now?

Your child has found out that you work as an escort, sex worker, or sugar baby. What now, what do you do?

Tips on how to be there for your child when they find out about your profession

• Know what to do if your child finds out about your profession from a stranger
• Find out what they know about the subject and proceed from there
• Talk about trust and never give them a reason to doubt you
• Always be honest
• Let them know that you understand how they feel.
• Wait until the dust has settled.

For most escorts who have children, this is the most dreaded scenario, what they fear most, not because of their work, but because of the impact it will have on their child in terms of bullying by other children, neighbors, etc.

Know what to do if your child learns about your profession from a stranger

If you are reading this for informational purposes so that you know what to do if the situation arises, use this time to pave the way for the moment when you need to talk to your child about this topic.

Teach your children empathy from an early age and create a foundation of love and trust. And when the time comes to have difficult conversations, those seeds you have sown since your child's childhood will prove invaluable.

Find out what your child knows about a topic and start there

Talk to your child, and talk a lot, but use terms they understand and don't overwhelm them with information. Consider their age and always ask them first what they know about a topic. Once you have an idea of their knowledge on the subject, you can approach it in a way they will understand. Don't use big words, don't get lost in endless explanations, be brief, honest, and to the point.

Talk about trust and never give them a reason to doubt you

Trust is the most important thing in any relationship, whether it's between mother and child, in a friendship, or in a partnership. That's why it's important to ALWAYS keep your word when you say or promise something, to always treat your child as a person and not as a stupid baby, to always do what you say, and to always tell them the truth, even if it may be uncomfortable for you.

Start with this exercise in trust and honesty while your child is still young, and build your trust from there. You will see that when the time comes, even if they disagree with your life choices, they will TRUST that you did what you thought was best for both of you, and they will believe in you.

Always be honest

They found out what you do for a living and they feel ashamed, betrayed, and angry? Let them allow these feelings; they have the right to feel certain emotions. Don't try to sugarcoat the truth or “brush it off,” because emotions are there to be lived and experienced, and only when we have lived through everything can we move on with a clear head.

So if he is angry and aggressive towards you after learning something about your job that upsets him, give him some space. Let him live out his big emotions for a few days and then find a way to talk to him. Find a neutral, safe place where you can talk and tell him honestly about your motives and everything you feel about the subject.

Let him know that you understand how he feels

Acknowledge his emotions, tell him that you understand how he feels, that he feels hurt, betrayed, ashamed, angry, furious, etc., tell him that IT'S OKAY to feel that way, and reassure him that you love him and that you are there to answer all his questions.

When we are confronted with important conversations, big, uncomfortable revelations, and strong emotions that weigh on us, we tend to rush things so that we can quickly return to the calm and normality we had before the storm.

But for the storm to pass completely, you have to stay in it for a while.

So don't be afraid of your child's emotions and reactions to the news, be there for them, be emotionally available, don't shift the responsibility onto them (“I did this for you, for us, so we would have a roof over our heads”), even if that is partly true, they don't need to feel like they are part of the problem right now, and don't argue or withdraw your love.

Wait until the storm has passed.

Once the seeds of love and trust have been sown, you will see that your child will return to your arms after the storm. They may not like what you do for a living, but at least you are a team again. Don't underestimate your children, because behind their small, fragile exterior lie intelligent and strong personalities. Talk to them like adults, treat them with respect, keep your word, and always tell them the truth.

Then you can sit down together and think about how to overcome bullying by others, what your child can do or say to protect themselves, and what you can do together for the good of the family.