SEX SAFE WORDS – Why use them and how to choose them!

You’re an escort, you’ve been through a lot, have plenty of experience with all types of man, good and bad, but that doesn’t automatically mean that you are down for anything and that you don’t have your own boundaries or things that are causing you distress.

Having a safe word when you are sexually active is just as important as knowing how to protect yourself from STD’s or investing in a good quality lube that won’t give you rashes. It is wrongly assumed that safe words are directly linked to BDSM practices. You don’t have to practice rough sex, use whips, cuffs, ropes and other such toys to need a safe word during sex.

But, first, what is a Safe Word?

A Safe Word is a word that has one, clear meaning: STOP. It can be used in a number of cases, during sex, not only during bondage or sado-masochism, and is meant to signal to the other partner that you’re having a discomfort, or you withdraw your consent from a particular sex practice. A Safe Word is a tool that should and must be used to help you stop something that makes you feel un-safe, insecure, that hurts you physically or emotionally.

First of all, you are a human being, and you need to respect that in order for others to also respect it. So, don’t be down for anything, set your rules clearly and don’t be afraid to lose a client or two by doing that. Instead think of it like that: it’s better to get rid of a bad apple from the very beginning, then having to deal with it later.

When do we use a Safe Word?

1. When you need to take a short break

Sometimes a position can hurt when maintained for a longer period of time, and you want to take a short break or switch it up, but you don’t want to ruin the passion of the moment by saying how your leg is numb or how your shoulder hurts. This is the perfect example when a safe word is both elegantly placed during the sex act, and it can also save the moment.

2. When you’re hurting your partner unintentionally

There are talkative people and there are silent ones, and you can never know on what type of man you’ll stumble upon. While talkative men speak their minds and are not afraid of telling you when your mouth is being too aggressive while moving up and down their penis, or that he doesn’t enjoy the way his penis bends when you’re in the cowgirl position and stuff like that, the silent ones don’t like to talk about it so much.

And here is where the safe word steps in. He just have to say it and you’ll know that something is not right and change it – the position, the angle you’re in, the way you give him a BJ and so on.

3. When you want to build trust

Not all men are looking for a one-night stand when booking the services of an escort. Some of them are looking for a woman they can trust, they can experience some great sex with, and explore some fantasies that maybe are too wild to be explored with the girlfriend, fiancée, or wife.

Having a safe word in this situation, helps both of you, because you can relax knowing that there’s an agreement between the two of you, and that when things become unpleasant you can always end it, and he can explore his fantasies and fetishes in a safe and understanding environment.

4. When you want to guide your partner

If you’re offering your escort services to young guys that are at the beginning of their sexual explorations, or to introverts that don’t take criticism really well, or to late bloomers, having a safe word system can help you guide them into improving their sex skills, without making them feel ashamed.

You can use the traffic lights colors for example – say “red” when he’s doing something that causes you discomfort, or when he’s moving in a wrong direction, say “green” when he’s on the right track and you want him to keep going, say “yellow” when he’s not quite there yet, but he’s getting the hang of it.

How to choose a Safe Word

When thinking of Safe Word you could use a celebrity name – for example you can say “Trump” or “Putin” when you feel discomfort or you want to put an end to a certain sex position; or you can use the name of a fruit – pick an easy to remember and pronounce fruit like “peach” or “apple”; or maybe go for a flavor – “bitter” can be a good safe word for when you dislike something, or maybe “sour”.

A Safe Word can be any kind of word as long as you keep it short, easy to pronounce and to remember when the time comes to use it. Also, another important thing to consider is choosing a word that doesn’t have multiple connotations, like “tiger” – a word that you can also use to admire your lover’s skills, or “vanilla” that may be interpreted like the movement is to slow for you and things should speed up – exactly the opposite of what a safe word is used for.